PURPOSE DRIVEN SINGLE

by Olusegun Jimoh Blog

SCRIPTURAL TEXT: Genesis 1:27, Genesis 2:18, Matthew 19:4-5

INTRODUCTION: Understanding Purpose and Singlehood

Purpose is the thought or intention behind a creation, on one side of purpose is a creator and on the other is a creation.

Singlehood can be said to be the period of being unmarried. All though there is a school of thought that differentiates being single and being unmarried but that is not our focus. In this study we hope to bring every student to a level of understanding of how to maximize singlehood in purpose.

To be purpose driven is to let purpose be the force behind the wheel of life, think about a vehicle that is in a good state with enough fuel but there is no driver, that vehicle would not move. Being single is neither a disease nor a problem, but it can metamorphose into either or both if not handled the right way. 

REASONS PEOPLE ARE SINGLE:

People are single for different reasons and these reasons one way or the other affects one’s attitude towards being single. Among many that can be listed let us consider these four that I find relevant for this study:

  1. Timing: Many are single because it is simply not yet time to be engaged or married, due to age and other targets or goals.
  2. Break ups: This is being single as a result of disengagement which can be for various reasons.
  3. Divorce: This is being single as a result of a broken marriage, from Biblical point of view divorce is not God’s plan for marriage.
  4. Death of a spouse: When a husband or wife dies, the spouse is forced to being single

KEYS TO SUCCESSFUL AND PURPOSE DRIVEN SINGLEHOOD:

  1. Finding oneself: The period of being single is a very important time that an individual discovers his/her self. God designed individuals with unique purposes that can only compliment others’. The period of being single must be dedicated to finding one’s self. Key questions to be answered are: 1.Why do I exist? 2. What are my abilities? 3. Where am I going? 4. Why am I going there? 5. How am I going to get there? 6. What are my values? etc
  2. Loving oneself: There is a thin line between loving oneself and selfishness that many people crosses, selfishness is when you are all about yourself that you rarely or never look at the interest of others. Loving yourself is appreciating your physical and non-physical features as loveable and good enough. There are many people singles especially with unhealthy self-esteem simply because they have not learnt to love themselves
  3. Valuing oneself: Most of us were brought up to downgrade ourselves in many ways in areas of our backgrounds, achievements, and even physical appearance. If as a single you do not value yourself, it will be difficult to find someone else that will value you. Another perspective to valuing yourself is to create standards around your life and what you do. The scripture says “let no one despise you.” It is good to have boundaries in your life.
  4. Accepting oneself: Do you enjoy your company? Would you like to be with you if you were another person? Accepting yourself is settling for the unchangeable facts about yourself, this most times has to do with things you did not have the opportunity to choose. Things like; your family, your race, your skin color, your body type and size etc. You are most likely going to struggle with acceptance and people’s approval if you have not come to terms with yourself and accept the things you cannot change.
  5. Understanding oneself: Many singles feel something is wrong with them because they do not understand themselves. A good instance is, in a class room like we are in now, we have different types of learners, some will get the lesson immediately, some will require a tutorial after the class and some will need a number of tutorials and follow up to get the lesson completely. You need to understand how you are wired, how you function best (this is not an endorsement for mediocrity and “that’s how I am” syndrome). Many singles get worn out trying to function as other persons they consider more effective than they.
  6. Appreciating oneself: Every little step taken toward fulfilling purpose is worth appreciating. As a single person it is important that you appreciate yourself for areas of your life which you have improved and appreciate yourself for the process you are going through. One thing about appreciation just like many other things if you do not have, you cannot give.
  7. Sharing oneself with someone else: Many singles are in a haste to get out of being single because they do have a perspective of two halves coming together to become one but that is not the truth from the Bible. The entire human race started with a single. Yes! Adam was there fulfilling God’s purpose before God said it is not good for him to be alone. Marriage is a union between two complete (with definite individual purpose) humans(male and female). Many singles that are not enjoying their company are in a haste trying to be married because they expect that marriage is what will complete them forgetting also that what you are as a single is what you will bring into your marriage.

In conclusion

 Time of being single is a good time to commit to MOST IMPORTANTLY knowing God more, His will and purpose for your life and working on it. I need to remind you that marriage is a BEAUTIFUL thing you should look forth to but not by taking your eyes off your purpose. It is a popular saying now that while many singles are in a haste to get married, many married people are looking forward to being single again. First God, second your purpose, third marriage. These three are working very well for many and would for you if rightly applied.